[for Del]

[asher_talos]

[dated to the 18th]

Today, like most days, the bookshelf was doing what it did best: annoying the shit out of him. It was back on the vampire novel kick and it seemed particularly keen on The Southern Vampire Mysteries books this time around. Now, as darling as she was, in all her Southern glory, Asher wasn't that interested in reading up on the Life and Times of little Miss Sookie Stackhouse and her wacky adventures. And, really, who could blame him?

Accepting defeat, Asher tried to convince himself that reading was stupid anyway, flopping down heavily against the length of one of the couches. Onyx almost mimicked the action for himself on the floor just beside him, topping it all off with a heavy sigh. Asher peered down at him curiously. "Over worked and under paid, huh?" Under stimulated, more like.

Asher knew that feeling all too well.

Comments

[asher_talos]

That just sent his eyes widening to the size of fucking dinner plates, his heart dropping to the pit of his gut while his stomach felt like it was in danger of leaping right out his mouth. Sitting up, he rubbed at the area she'd just poked.

"I'm sorry, what?" Asher finally said, quickly regretting it. Did he really need to hear it again? Did he want to? "Why? What?! Why?"

Three very brilliant questions.

[endlessdel]

"It's Yours...diD yOU GO SwimMing and GET Water in YOUR Ear? bECAUse i knOW YOU'Re nOT STupid," Delirium said, twisting the sleeves into knots just like how her insides felt. "i'm pREGnanT, as in whaT HappENS whEN A maN Puts his pEnis insidE A womAN ANd thEY WrithE ABout and THen he rELeasES his sEMen insiDE Her. nOt as iN WHen pEOPLE go sunBATHing and doN'T Wear SuncrEAM. They EXPLainED THat VERY CLearLy to me; thAT's caNCER, this is prEGNancy."

[asher_talos]

Oh Christ on a crutch. What the fuck? Asher was tempted to stick his fingers in his ears and shut his eyes and hope to wake up in his bed with a giant dog smothering him, compromising the flow of oxygen to his brain. "No, Del. I know... how it works." And how it didn't work sometimes, how it ended badly for everyone involved.

[endlessdel]

"iT's ALso thE WHy, yoU ASKed WHy i'M PRegnanT anD thAT WOuLD be becaUSE you PUT YOUr pEnis insidE me," Delirium explained simply, He wasn't being nice to her and that just made her feel weird and upset. Staring at the floor, Delirium shrugged and tried to avoid looking at him. "weLL um...ChASe is makiNG me go SEE him AT Least EVery two daYS anD i'Ve goT TO find anOTHER ABByLike pERSOn to MAKE sure i'M HEALTHy and kEEP AN eyE On me. wHAT's thAT Stuff in YOUr EYebaLL's? The gOOEy stuff? i aLWAYs foRGET."

[asher_talos]

"Who?" He had no idea what a Chase or an Abby even were. People, no doubt, but it was difficult to understand what Abbylike meant when he didn't know a thing about the original. Or what eyeballs had to do with anything at all. "Vitreous humour," he answered anyway, because right now nothing made sense, so why not discuss the anatomy of the eye, too.

[endlessdel]

"doCTor chAse anD abBY's mY NexT of kiN," Delirium explained patiently, ripping a hole in her sleeve as she pulled on it too tightly. Delirium wasn't expecting Asher to leap up and start jumping for joy, that would have been very out of character but she hadn't expected to feel quite so rubbish either. That could have been due to the nausea though. "i ALwAYs foRGET What it'S CALLed... viTREOus hUMour."

Delirium laughed to herself, to try to make herself feel better and then stoppped. Smiling awkwardly at Asher she sighed tiredly. "m'gONNA go nOW and GET reacQuaintED with MY FriEnd thE ToiLET," Delirium said, patting Asher fondly on the head before kissing his cheek. "okiEs?"

[asher_talos]

"Oh. Right." So she needed a next-next of kin? He was still very confused and dazed and the fact that there was no immediate flare of hatred at the mention of a doctor, was likely a side effect.

He saw Del's mouth moving but didn't hear much of what was being said to him, most of it sounding like a muted trombone, à la any animated Peanut's special. What he did manage to catch clear enough was 'okies', and so he nodded. Reflex, mostly, since he had no idea what he was nodding in response to; it just seemed like the thing to do. So he did it. "Um. Yeah. Yeah, okay."