asher_talos | [For Stephen & Danica

[For Stephen & Danica - Dated to August 4th]

Most people looked forward to their birthdays, but Asher wasn't most people. Technically, he'd only been a person for a little over two years now, so at least he had a good reason to go against what he considered to be the majority rule.

To him, all birthdays did now was remind him that he was disgustingly mortal, that he was that much closer to death after five centuries of avoiding it so well. He couldn't understand why people celebrated something like that. But, then, Asher still didn't understand a lot about how humans worked. He was okay with that, though.

Whatever the case, Asher was perfectly content ignoring that there was anything even remotely different about the day. There was no rule stating he had to acknowledge it. As far as he was concerned, it was just a normal day.

He reentered the compound after returning from feeding and watering Beau, just like he would any other day. He was smart enough to avoid the rec room, though, because chances were that the jukebox wouldn't have gotten the Ordinary Day memo, and he wasn't going to be held responsible for what he did to it if it started playing Happy Birthday.

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"Yeah, sure." Asher said, shooing him off with no real intention of waiting anywhere. First snapping and then staying? He wasn't someones dog.

He headed into the kitchen instead, and after he poured himself a cup of coffee he took a seat at the table, back to the door. He could have done a better job at trying to ditch Stephen, but why bother? The island was only so big and he'd have to deal with him again sooner or later. Avoidance was futile.

Stephen went down to search for wherever he had put the stuff. Turned out that it was under his bed. He blamed the dogs, of course.

He scowled when he returned to see Asher gone, but no matter; he was easy enough to track down.

"Tada!" Stephen said, setting down the small wrapped item in front of Asher. Apparently somewhere down the line he remembered that today was Asher's birthday.

Asher looked up from his mug to Stephen, and then to the gift. It was small. Small worked. Small things were easier to pass along after he dropped dead.

"Uh. Thank you," he said, though it might have been hard to hear any gratitude in it when he made it sound like a question. It probably didn't help that he was staring at the thing like it might explode at any second.

"You are welcome," Stephen automatically returned seriously, taking a seat on the other side of the table. If he had been home, he would have been able to give something a lot nicer, but again, he was fond of keeping his money for himself...

He frowned. "It's not a bomb."

"I wouldn't expect you to tell me if it was..." Asher replied, still eying the gift critically, fingers still firmly fixed around his coffee mug.

"Now that you've said that it sort of makes it all the more suspicious." Not that he thought Stephen was smart enough to make a bomb.

Stephen scowled deeper. "It does not! Why would I lie?"

Never mind that he maybe technically sort of have lied in the past...

"Because you're you?" Unless he wasn't him. They did live on an island that enjoyed a good body-swap, after all.

"You are still you, right?" It couldn't hurt to be sure.

Stephen glanced down as if he had to actually check to make sure.

"Yes, I'm still me! Why would I give you a bomb? I'm no terrorist!"

Was he going to have to open the stupid thing himself?!

"Why wouldn't you give me a bomb?" Everyone had their limit, a snapping point, and it wasn't as if Asher had ever been particularly nice to Stephen in the past. In the real world, people had been blown up for lesser reasons.

What a weird question. (Stephen ignored the fact that he probably would have asked the same in other circumstances.)

"Why would I want to kill one of the few people I can stand?!" What was with the probing interview over a birthday present? See if Stephen ever went out of his way for this again...

"Why does one of the few people you can stand happen to include someone who's usually a dick to you?" It really seemed like something he should be seeing a shrink about.

"I could answer questions with questions all day, you know."

Stephen shrugged. The questions-with-questions thing made him suddenly picture Asher as working for the government, and so he was silent for a bit. That was kind of a fun image.

Anyway.

"Maybe I like dicks." Beat. "Wait. I didn't mean--just open the present!"

Asher blinked. "Yeeeah, well that make you and about ninety-seven percent of the general male population on the island."

He continued to size up the gift, but his gaze wasn't nearly as critical now. "Why? Not opening it seems to be leading to brand new revelation. Who knows what else you'll say if I hold out." Watching Stephen make a fool of himself was probably better than whatever the present was.

Great, now Stephen was just thinking about the phrase holding out and trying to keep from commenting on it. He wasn't used to that.

"You won't get anything else out of me!" he said as if Asher was about to start water-boarding. "You underestimate my...quiet abilities."

Or something like that.

"You like the sound of your own voice too much to stay quiet for long," He said, nudging the gift away slightly.

"I can wait." Technically, he still hadn't even admitted that it was his birthday.

Well of course Stephen liked the sound of his own voice too much to stay quiet for long. No one else was anywhere near his level of company. That wasn't a crime.

He started tapping his fingers against the table top and scowled at Asher.

Tap. Tap. Taptaptap.

"Can't you just open it!?"

"I could, but I'm not going to." Especially not while being yelled at. "And if you don't want it shoved into some part of your anatomy, I suggest you lower the volume."

The scowl deepened again.

"It's your birthday! I'm giving you stuff! Why would you want to put that off?" He sounded genuinely confused, if not slightly quieter than before.

"Just weird that way, I guess," he answered with a shrug, folding his hands on the tabletop.

"Most ways," Stephen mumbled under his breath. "You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?"

"I'm not doing anything." Which was most likely the problem, but he didn't really care.

"Aha!" Stephen exclaimed, pointing. "So you admit it!"

"How keen are you on keeping that finger" Asher asked, head tilting curiously to one side.

"...It's an important finger." He used it a lot.

He brought his hand back, just in case, and sighed heavily. And sadly. Dramatically, one might say.

"Can you please just open it?"

There. He didn't sound demanding or loud at all.

"Well if you're going to whine about it." Asher said, reaching out to pull the present back toward him. A small part of him had to wonder if this was normal. Was accepting gifts usually like pulling teeth with other people?

Probably not.

He blamed Stephen. If he hadn't given it to him in the first place then all of this could have easily been avoided. So, by that logic, all his fault.

"There. I opened it." Asher stared at it for a moment before looking back at Stephen. "What the fuck is it?"

The newly formed smile fell from Stephen's face at Asher's question. It quickly turned into a scowl, because what the hell? It was obvious what it was!

"It's the audiobook version of my book!" He tapped a finger on the top of it and beamed again. "Plus there's a compass I found, for your boat."

But that was nothing compared to the gift of Stephen's Word! He had lucked out when the bookshelf had given it to him.

"The one I read?" And he'd heard being read to his horse, of all things, by Stephen himself. He was expected to suffer through it again? As luck would have it, though, Asher didn't have anything to play it on. "...I'll cherish it forever."

He'd stuff it in his sock drawer and forget all about it.

The compass was actually sort of neat, and Asher spent a few seconds swiveling it around and watching the arrow move. Unfortunately, it wasn't as neat as Jack Sparrow's, in that it seemed to work properly instead of pointing to whatever he wanted most. He was almost positive that he didn't want the fucking bowl of fruit on the table.

"Thanks. Again."

Any insincerity on Asher's part flew riiiight on over Stephen's head. The huge smile stayed firmly in place, and he sounded almost insanely cheerful when he said, "You are welcome."

In his mind, he couldn't have chosen a better gift.

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[For Stephen & Danica - Dated to August 4th]

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