"It's not like I have a choice of keeping them elsewhere." Even if he did have that choice - strange one though it would have been - he probably wouldn't have made anything any different.

"What other option do I really have? Or anyone for that matter? Knowing the answer to that? That's how."

"I'd have a permanent headache if I were you," Ray joked. He was quiet then, just for a moment, wondering whether he should ask one of the things he'd told himself he never would. It was the kind of question where he wouldn't know if the answer made a difference until he'd heard it, at which point it would be too late to un-hear it.

But since they were being honest...

"Have...you ever killed anyone?" He blinked a few times, gaze on the profile of Asher's face. "Aside from feeding."

"Not as a human," Asher replied, head falling to the side so he was looking at Ray, watching for shifts in his expression.

His expression didn't shift at all. He stared back, unable to quite comprehend the answer he'd been given. Until a few years ago, an answer like that couldn't have been taken seriously. Everyone was human in Ray's world, except for Fraser maybe, so that kind of response would never have been given in earnest. And yet here Asher was, not only providing it as a serious answer but one that should apparently make a difference to Ray's own reaction.

Much like Asher now considered himself different to the person he used to be when human, Ray had always assumed there was a difference between vampire Asher and the one currently looking at him. Perhaps that was naive of him, given that he didn't have anything to compare current Asher with, but it was what his gut told him and he always went with his hunches. So if Asher wasn't the same person now, then maybe his answer made sense.

The conclusion Ray came to was more alarming than Asher's reply. Ray was in love with Asher, wasn't he? All of him. That was what love was, right? But how could he be if there were two Ashers and he barely knew one of them? Did that mean he could only ever half love him?

He blinked. "Does that make a difference?"

"To you?" Asher asked, clearly annoyed by the question. "Obviously not if you have to ask. Which, really, kudos on the shitty timing, by the way."

He pushed himself up into a seated position, agitated, suddenly all too aware of what he'd shared and verging on regret.

"Good talk. Let's not do it again."

Ray rose as soon as Asher did, closing his eyes briefly and holding his breath to stop a sigh coming out.

"It does. It does make a difference to me. But I wanted to be sure it did to you too." Because surely that meant Asher thought he was different now. It meant Ray was with someone who wasn't bad and who didn't go against almost everything Ray believed in.

"My timing coulda been better, yeah." But he wasn't sorry he'd asked.

"And so you have. Congratulations." The distinct lack of murder victims popping up was pretty telling enough, Asher thought. Or should have been, anyway. But not for Ray, though. No. He had to hear it.

So much for actions (or inaction) speaking louder than words.

"Just drop it."

"Fine," Ray replied, the haste with which he said it suggesting it was given more for show than anything. If that wasn't enough, the quick shift from sitting on the mattress to sitting on Asher's legs should have given away that he wasn't done yet. Ray didn't want him leaving before he was.

"I find it hard to wrap my head around the idea that you were so different back home. I don't know anything about that life. Does that seem right to you?"

"Why do you need to wrap your head around it at all?" Asher asked.

"We're not back home, if you haven't noticed." They had to take a boat and drop anchor in the middle of the ocean to get away from a tropical island. Back in the normal world, people vacationed on tropical islands. He didn't, but normal ones did. If they weren't poor. "I don't see how it makes a difference either way what I was like there. We're here."

"Because I wanna know more about you, Asher." Ray had the feeling however he chose his words, they wouldn't come out like he wanted them to and the look on Asher's face would remain the same. "In case you haven't noticed, I kinda really like you and I wanna find out more. Is that so bad?"

"Potentially," Asher replied. He didn't expect his answer to make Ray feel any differently about it, however.

"What could you possibly want to know about my life before I got here?" There wasn't much he could think of that Ray probably wouldn't regret knowing once he did. "If it's the life before that that you're actually interested in, then it's not me you want to find out more about."

"Where do I start?" Ray quipped, shifting on Asher's legs into a more comfortable position for them both. There were centuries upon centuries of blanks to fill in. But now wasn't the time for twenty questions, not after what Asher had already shared. Maybe one more question was okay though.

Ray's demeanor shifted into something less intense and a little more playful. He fiddled idly with the end of Asher's tie, face dipped down. Then he flicked his eyes up with a mischievous smile. "What's immortality feel like?"

"It felt like the exact opposite of what mortality feels like." And mortality still most definitely sucked. His opinion on that hadn't changed since his arrival, nor did he expect it to change as long as he was stuck that way.

"And I wasn't actually asking you to come up with things you want to know."

"Don't tease me," Ray replied, tugging on the knot of Asher's tie to loosen it some more. "What's mortality feel like to you? Does it make you want to seize," he gave another tug, "the," tug, "moment?"

"...it doesn't turn me on, if that's what you're hoping for," he said, looking down at his tie. He was more concerned about its well being than what any of Ray's intentions might have been.

"I don't need mortality, or a tie, to do that," Ray insisted, finally pulling the two ends apart. In one smooth movement, he removed it from Asher's collar and with due care and attention, folded it in half and laid it on the mattress.

"Thank you for telling me." He didn't go into any more detail. It was obvious what he was talking about and he could confidently conclude it wasn't something Asher wanted to rehash. He was grateful though, but the feeling was tinged with guilt too, for not having shown the same honesty Asher had. He could share his story, tell him about Irene, Louis, Frankie, but it wasn't something he could just offer up. Today's conversation belonged to Asher and that was enough.

"For telling you that I've had impure thoughts about your best friend?" Asher asked, lightening up just a touch now that his tie was out of harms way. He knew that wasn't what Ray meant, but he wasn't going to acknowledge the other thing.

"You're welcome."

Ray laughed, pinching the end of his nose. "Ahh, yeah. I can't wait to see his face when I tell him. Should I pretend to be affronted? Jealous?"

"Whatever you think will unnerve him the most." Being that this was the Mountie they were talking about, that probably wouldn't have taken much.

That was Fraser's Halloween fright sorted out then.

"You'd make an excellent best friend," Ray pointed out wryly, taking a breath and resting his hands on Asher's shoulder. "So. ...I'm practically in your lap, we have complete privacy and we're full of caffeine... What d'you fancy doing?"

"You," Asher said casually, having no qualms at all about being so direct. If he'd been forward before they probably could have avoided the whole conversation that had just taken place. "Unless there's still a chance I taste funny or you want to pick the activity again."

As far as he was concerned, Ray was never, ever allowed to pick the activity again.

"It's two o'clock in the afternoon," Ray pointed out. Despite the protest, or maybe because of it, he shifted up the rest of the way into Asher's lap, so that there was no 'practically' about it anymore.

"Wouldn't you rather go fishing?" Now the tie was out of the way, Ray set about unbuttoning the collar of Asher's shirt and the first couple of buttons. "Read a book? Take a nap?"

"It's five o'clock somewhere," Asher countered, his hands moving to wrap around Ray's waist.

"Wouldn't say no to a nap, though. After. But did you actually bring any fishing equipment or were you just going to dive in and catch them with your hands?" If that was the plan, Asher knew exactly when his nap would be scheduled.

Ray lifted his eyebrows and nodded, looking up briefly from the task at hand. "I've even got worms." Fraser might have been the one to collect them, but Ray had carried them onto the boat in a container and stuff.

When he reached the last button, he pushed his hands beneath Asher's shirt and up to his ribs. "So that's tomorrow's lunch sorted."

"You sound pretty confident with your skills," he said with a smirk that may have implied he meant more than just fishing.

"Do a lot of fishing in Chicago?" Asher asked, leaning in so his lips grazed Ray's as he spoke. There was a difference between fishing and actually catching something, not that he expected Ray to be honest with him if he'd never so much as gotten a nibble.