asher_talos | [for Ray

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[for Ray - Dated 1/07]

When the Island had gone back to normal they'd had a hell of a time breaking the news to the twins that Toys-R-Us had vanished along with the rest of the city. Truth be told, a small part of Asher had wanted to join Celia in her tantrum over the loss. Not of the toy store specifically, obviously, but of the city as a whole. He knew it was most likely all in his head, but since being back, the sun seemed brighter, the temperature higher and the sand about a hundred times more obnoxious than it had been before. More obnoxious even than when they were stuck in the old west, which was saying something.

Not everything was left behind, though. Of all the things that could have remained from their time in New York, the Island had chosen this. Of course it did. It might have still been wrapped, but Asher didn't need x-ray vision to know what it was.

When he'd picked it out, he actually assumed that, more likely than not, it would have stayed behind. For his birthday, he'd tell Ray about his good intentions without having to hand anything to him. The thought was supposed to be what counted most, and Asher wondered if that held true when nothing tangible was ever actually received.

Now he'd never know.

He'd kept the gift in the spare room on the boat since they'd been back on the Island. It was already late-afternoon - Ray's birthday was already more than halfway over now - and it had only made it as far as the kitchenette table from its original hiding spot.

Maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if the thing didn't look like Martha-fucking-Stewart had done the wrap job.

Groaning, he swept the gift off the table after deciding he'd stared at it long enough, tucked it under his arm and started back home.

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"Before that," Ray clarified, moving to his collar to loosen that too.

Asher was quiet for a long moment before finally shaking his head.

"Can't think of a thing," he said, giving Ray a pointed look that said if he cared anything about his own sex life, he'd watch what he said next.

"You'd look good in a tux," was all Ray said, sending the pointed look right back to Asher. He technically hadn't mentioned the W or the M word, so Asher couldn't be mad at him yet.

That was a given, and also probably the one and only comment Ray could have gotten in without pissing Asher off. It was hard to be mad at a compliment, but that didn't stop the exasperated sigh from escaping him.

"Smooth."

"It was, wasn't it," Ray agreed with the hint of a smile. It was kind of disconcerting how against the idea Asher clearly was but it wasn't exactly a surprise. Asher probably would have heaved the same sigh if Del had run her pregnancy idea by him first too.

Too bad Ray couldn't marry Asher and then break the news to him...

"Cheer up." He nudged a finger under Asher's chin to lift his gaze. "It might never happen."

"Might never? Why do you make it sound like it's not a decision I'll have any control over?" Sure, there were a few occasions where he hadn't had any control over certain things thanks to kooky Island shenanigans, but the M-word wasn't one of those things.

"It's a figure of speech," Ray deflected, pulling his hand away just in case Asher's temper rose. "Besides, you know this place. Next year it could turn into Vegas and pair everyone off like Noah's Ark. Last time it dabbled in the affairs of the heart I would've made an honest man of you on the spot."

Who said that couldn't happen again?

"It doesn't count if the people involved are possessed." When reality set in again after the last time the Island dabbled, he and Ray had gone right back to insults and throwing punches. Asher didn't think there would have been any reconciling if they'd gone all the way and exchanged vows, only to have to get them undone in a few days time.

"No, it doesn't." The only possibility of it ever happening was Island magic and that kinda sucked.

It wasn't even that Ray particularly wanted to be married. It wouldn't change anything; there would be no noticeable difference in their life or how they were with each other. And yet Ray still just really, really liked the idea of asking.

"I get it. You don't wanna marry me." He dropped down into a squat in front of Asher. "But that doesn't mean I can't ask, right?"

"What are you insane?!" Asher asked, wide-eyed. "It means exactly that. Why would you ask something when you already know the answer and it's not the one most people want to hear? I will kick you in the nuts if you don't stand up."

"What? I'm not on one knee, you're fine," Ray waved it off, giving Asher a smile to encourage him not to worry.

"I hear what you're saying," he continued in a tone that suggested the complete opposite, "and I will take that on-board."

For about two seconds before its ignored.

"You have absolutely no regard for your junk, do you?" He asked. The fact that Asher did was the only reason he hadn't struck yet. In the long run, it wouldn't have just hurt Ray.

"I rely on you to take care of it for me." He looked Asher in the eye then, some might call it gazing, until a miniature-shaped person chose to ram straight into his back.

The air escaped Ray quickly. Doubling-over for a second, he bumped his chest into Asher's legs with a grunt. Just when he thought he could catch a breath again, the attacker leaped onto his back and held onto his neck for dear life.

"Horsies!"

Exasperation crept in, along with a patented whiny tone. "You are your father's son."

"How romantic."

Luckily, before Ray could saying anything else stupid, Daniel stepped in. Or leaped in, really. Either way, his timing couldn't have possibly been any better, though Ray's back would probably disagree.

"At least he seems to have gotten over the loss of the car relatively quickly."

"So fickle is the heart," Ray lamented, pushing up but only making it half way. Hunched over, he groaned with the weight of Daniel and gave Asher the look of a man who was sinking in quicksand.

"Horsies!"

"If you love me you'll help me."

"After what you just tried to pull?" Asher sat back in his seat, elbows propped up behind him on the counter top.

"Fat chance. Italian stallion, right? Pretty sure you made that claim before."

"Right, that's it," Ray wheezed, struggling upright and hooking his hands under Daniel's legs.

"Marry me. I love you. Be mine. Marry me, Asher. I can do this all day." He could be persuaded to stop were Asher to help him though. "Will you do me the greatest honor of becoming my--"

Clearly, given the swift kick to his side, Daniel still needed to learn the difference between a real horse and a fake one.

"Not right now, Daniel, Uncle Ray's proposing to your daddy. Will you marry me, Asher? C'mon, whaddya say? Say yes."

Knowing that Ray was only saying all of this on spite now was the only reason Asher had kept his cool.

He still made no move to help, though.

"No ring. No knee. Say it a few more times, though. That way, it'll lose all meaning completely."

"Oh, you're a traditionalist. I'll keep that in mind," Ray smirked, moving in the slowest, lamest circle a fake horse could achieve.

"Hey, buddy," he hefted Daniel to get his attention, "you like ice-cream?"

"Yeah!"

"You like playing with your toys?"

"Yeah!"

"You think your daddy should marry me?"

"Yeah!"

"'Nuff said."

"Yeah... A traditional ex-vampire, screwing a guy and also has two kids out of wedlock. Can't get anymore traditional than that."

After Ray's little exchange with Daniel, he rolled his eyes, unimpressed by him using his own son against him.

"He tried to eat play dough a few days ago. His judgement's not the best."

"Maybe he knows something we don't," Ray suggested, like maybe play dough was actually a superfood with tons of healthy stuff in it. "Or maybe he just saw his mom sprinkling it on top of ice-cream and thought it was the done thing."

In which case? Totally not his fault or a reflection on his judgement.

"If you're not gonna do it for me, do it for the children."

Probably the least convincing argument out there but Ray wasn't above trying.

Unfortunately, the comment regarding Del could have been the honest to God truth. Stranger things than play dough had made it into meals prepared by her.

"Marry you for the children...? How about I not marry you for me?"

"You're not giving me great vibes here, Asher," Ray teased, though it wasn't completely obvious from his tone that he was joking.

The next part though? Even Ray didn't think Asher would take it seriously.

"Just think about it. Mr and Mr Vecchio. Asher Vecchio. It's got a ring to it."

"I'd rather not," he said, face screwing up slightly as though he may be sick any second. "I'd rather keep my lunch down."

"Vecchio-Talos?" Ray tried, swinging Daniel around to his front just by holding onto one leg. Up-righting the boy after the childish wail of excitement, he steadfastly ignored any requests to do it again.

"If you won't accept my gracious offer of taking your hand in marriage, answer me this. Is it marriage in general that makes you wanna hurl or marriage to me?" It wasn't asked with any depth in his voice; it was more light-hearted than anything.

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